Friday, December 07, 2007

Bah. Winter.

It is winter. Officially. Well, really, it has technically been winter for a while.... but it was not until this week that I really acknowledged that it was here. It is at this time that I dig out the winter gear, and begin to warm up my car for 20 minutes every morning. It is also the time of year that my morning grouchy-ness increases about 10 fold.
Few people have witnessed the true nature of grouchy that I am when I wake up in the morning. My mom and sisters have gotten the worst of it in the past... and since my dad is usually gone to work before I trudge downstairs... he didn't really ever see me at my worst. Basically, there are 4 rules for the morning when dealing with me:
1) DO NOT steal my shower time, then act surprised when I am irritated and waiting outside with my towel. I shower at the SAME TIME EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING. And if I need it at a different time, I announce it the night before. DO NOT SCREW WITH THE SCHEDULE.
2) DO NOT dry your hair in the master bathroom AT THE SAME TIME THAT I AM DRYING MY HAIR in my room. We are on the same circuit and if there are 2 dryers going at the same time, we blow a fuse. EVERY TIME. And you know what? I DRY MY HAIR AT THE SAME TIME EVERY MORNING.
3) DO NOT ask me questions.
4) If you break rule 3, DO NOT say 'what?' when I mumble something that I am fully aware is incomprehensible.

ANYWAY, yesterday morning, I woke up to the ending of some Avril Lavigne song playing in the background and our local radio personality says 'It's a cold one out there today folks.... -40C, so dress warm!!!!'
[For those of you who don't know, or who are American and use the Fahrenheit system, -40C=-40F. This is the point on the temperature scale(s) that Celsius and Fahrenheit meet. Also known as: the point at which living things will freeze in 4.2 seconds. Okay, the second part of that is not true... and honestly, I've experienced -53C before.... but -40 is no joke.]

And do you know what I did when I heard that it was -40 outside? I pulled the blankets over my head, fell back asleep (with the radio on) for 2 hours. I refused to get up. I refused to get ready. I refused to go outside. All day. I spent the day working at home (on the little work that I could do) and drank tea and hot chocolate.

I have always liked winter, and never really had a problem with living in a place that is famous for being ridiculously cold...but this year it is different. I have lost my cold tolerance. Last year I would have laughed at -40. I would have shaken my fist in the air and said 'is that all you've got? HAHAHAHAHA'. This year, I retreat into my house and execute a hole-up plan with my little dog, muttering about how the only living thing that should live in this place is an 800lbs buffalo. I think I need to consider either a) becoming a full-on hermit through winter (not unlike hibernation), or b) spend the winter months somewhere else. Both, require serious re-arrangement of my life.

#18. My favorite TV show is How I Met Your Mother. It is hilarious. The kind of hilarious that makes people think you are completely insane when you giggle hysterically when you are alone in your room.