Sometimes I hate everyone.

After yet another conversation with my sister and her douche of a boyfriend, I find myself bored, frustrated and incredibly irritated. Yesterday, they decided it would be best if she moved out to give them both space (ie. he freaked out again and she is really confused). Being the amazing sister that I am, I left work, navigated myself through the labyrinth of construction to pick her up, took her out to lunch, and listened to her for 2 hours about their relationship.

Hearing about their relationship creeps me out. I don’t know why, but it does, so the fact that I listened to her talk about it for TWO effing hours is pretty impressive. Eventually, she asked me what I would have done. I hate this question. She wants me to say that I would have done exactly what she did. She wants me to reaffirm that giving him space was the right thing to do. I CAN NOT SAY IT. I tried. I really did. I think I eventually said something along the lines of ‘well, I’m not emotionally involved, so I can’t really answer that’. However, there is no question in my mind that even if I was in love with this guy, I would have dumped him. NO QUESTION.

Then she asks me what kind of guy I am looking for. She has never asked me this before, so I am caught a little off guard (but mostly I am thankful to be talking about something other than her boyfriend). I listed off a few qualities and shrugged. I am pretty sure that this guy doesn’t exist, but I am young and still naïve enough to believe that he does, so I have no problem describing him to her. Then, she says ‘Well, you know who you are describing???? My boyfriend’. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I almost fell out of my chair. I tried to make myself say ‘oh, ha ha, okay’ but all I managed to do was suppress a cough of disbelief and become incredibly interested in my drink. What I wanted to say was:
‘Actually, I think your boyfriend is an inconsiderate, money hungry, uninteresting, boring douche bag with absolutely NONE of the qualities that I look for’.

I wanted to throw up. If he is my 'dream guy' I think I might start buying cats and settle in for a long 40 years of alone time.

#16. Sometimes I don't realize that I am talking unnecessarily loud. It doesn't usually become a problem unless I am talking about someone when they are, in fact, standing relatively close to me.
This reminds me of a little story about a young, red-headed girl (about 16) playing sociables at a party and getting harassed by another girl who kept saying 'Maryanne is cheating!!!!' (I wasn't), so the redhead whispered into the ear of the boy sitting next to her 'Jessica is so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!' Then he whispered back 'I know. And now everyone else does too because you didn't whisper that to me'. At this point the young, seemingly oblivious redhead looked up to see 10 people casting nervous looks between herself and Jessica. Thinking she could play this off, the young redhead laughed and said 'oh I'm just kidding Jessica!!!! hahhahah'. She didn't seem to think so and thus began a 3 year slander campaign against the redhead. Although, it wasn't too successful because most people did think that Jessica was annoying.
Also note that alcohol significantly increases the likelihood of inappropriately loud talking.

Monday...

I am sitting in my very empty office, munching on an apple and listening to music (without my headphones on). All three of these seemingly normal things are very uncommon on a Monday in my office. Usually, there are three or more people in here, I only can eat an apple (or something equally crunchy) in the lounge, and I ALWAYS have to listen to music with earphones in.

I woke up at 6 am feeling slightly anxious due to some seriously weird/disturbing dreams last night, then convinced myself to sleep for another hour or so. I woke up 2 and a half hours later because my alarm clock likes to fuck with me. I rush in the shower, and haphazardly put on my make-up and dry my hair (both of which are already looking a little disheveled), and then rush out to my car.

It is at this very moment that I remember that I am completely out of gas.... so much so, that I didn't think I would make it into my driveway last night. Dammit. I coax my car to the gas station 3 km away and hop out. A 'Please Pay Inside Before Pumping' sign is plastered over the display of pie charts on the pump illustrating that 49% of the cost of gas is due to government taxes. I walk inside (a little annoyed) and stand in line for nearly 15 minutes while the cashier chats with another employee who is NOT DOING ANYTHING. When I finally get the the front, I say 'I'd like $50 gas'. The cashier gives me a look and says 'well did you already pump it?' and I reply 'No... there is a sign out there saying to pay first!!!'. She then tries to convince me that the sign also says 'only after 11pm'. It doesn't. I know it doesn't. So I say 'okay, well, I'd still like $50 gas', thinking that she can just charge me now, so I don't have to wait in line again. She sighs, and says alright... I suppose we could do that for you. It took everything in me not to throw all the Kit Kats at her sitting beside me on the counter.

Annoyed, I finish pumping exactly $50 gas and drive off. I then sit in traffic for 20 minutes (on my 7 minute commute to work) because there is construction on every single route to work in this city. I debate with myself of what is worse. Sitting in construction in the summer, or driving 10 km/hr in the winter because it is icy. I decide that winter driving is worse and force myself to get into a better mood. 10:00 rolls around and I finally walk into my very empty building, wondering where everyone is. The coffee shop is closed, all the doors to offices are closed, nobody is in the building. I think it is a holiday or something. Either that, or they are fumigating the building and I am about to be gassed out of my office. At this point, I am not sure which one would be worse.

Do it again.

I haven’t blogged in a really long time. Obviously the promise of increased blogging frequency that I made a few weeks back was empty (sorry).

Updates:

School- 10 months until my funding runs out. Jesus.
I don’t know how much I can elaborate on this. I don’t know where the last 14 months went. I am pretty sure I fell asleep one night and woke up 2 months later.

Wedding- As expected, the Vegas aspect of my friends wedding has made my job quite a bit easier. Thus far, I’ve only been given the job of making sure things run smoothly once we get there. Obviously, since I’ve never been to Vegas, and have no idea of who is coming or when they might be arriving, and whether or not I am supposed to be planning any bridal events, it should be super simple. Also, the best man is a kind of a douche. Lucky me.

I know I should be happy for her but really, I am just nervous about the whole getting married thing. I am extremely tired of people telling me ‘when you know, you know’, so I should stop worrying about it. While I let it go, I feel like standing on a chair and announcing that I am sure that 95% of divorced couples thought that they ‘knew’ too. I swear to God…if one more person I know tells me they are getting married, I am moving.

Reading- I love it. I stopped reading through my undergrad because it ends up taking up quite a bit of time, and had I read anything other than text books, I would have failed half of my classes. Now, however, I find myself with evenings and weekends free. I love it. I just finished reading The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I fully recommend it.


# 15 At this very moment, I want to go to the airport and buy a ticket to anywhere out of North America. Mongolia? Bring it on. Brazil? Where do I sign? Can a country make you feel claustrophobic?