Just shoot me in the head already

I have been working on the same effing assignment all day. I finally think I made some progress and decided to get it checked before I further bury myself in spreadsheets and formulas and unknown variables. I receive a reply to my e-mail (and attached assignment) from my prof less than 2 minutes after I sent it. WTF?! Do not tell me that you read my assignment, found ALL the mistakes (there MUST have been some) and wrote a 1 pg explanation about what I SHOULD do instead. No. It is obvious that I am not the only person who can't do this assignment in any sort of reasonable time frame, and he has already sent out the exact reply to god knows how many other struggling students with the exception of changing
To: insert name here.

Fuck. He didn't even address the questions that I specifically asked. Fuck.

To top it all off, 2 hours later, I get the same effing answer that I had gotten BEFORE I did it his way. sweet. Basically, he didn't look at my assignment, but just ASSUMED that I had done it wrong and re-worded his freaking instructions in the first place! Fuck me.

Also, I am getting increasingly irritated at Brit (office mate). I am fairly new here and I don't give out my office number to friends or family (because I think it is unprofessional considering that I am sharing an office with 4 other people). Anyway, everytime the phone rings, I know it is not for me because anyone who knows that I am in this office would e-mail me first because they know it is the easiest way to get a hold of me as I can not stay in this beige office for more than 2 hours at a time. Okay, so even though the entire 4 months that I've been here, the phone has NOT been for me, Brit refuses to get up to answer it....and it is ALWAYS for her! FUCK. So not only do I have to get up, interupt my train of thought/trip over her freaking boxes everywhere and give her the phone, but she acts SURPRISED that it is for her!!!! Her son calls, her husband calls, her fucking obgyn calls, AND she has a cell phone. If she is initiating some sort of mind warfare on me then bring it on biatch. You are going down.