WTF

Okay, so I thought I was just being paranoid, or maybe insane for the past month but seriously, I am getting super irritated.
This is going to sound stupid but I swear to God I am not making this up.
Everything/everyone is shocking me....all the time. Not in the 'oh my God, I'm so shocked' kind of way, but as in electroshock therepy all goddamn day. I don't know if the electrons in my body just aren't down with being there and feel the need to explosively jump to the closest thing possible to me...but i'm getting seriously irritated.

When I put on my wool jacket....SHOCK. When I close my car door....SHOCK. When I put my effing earphones in to my iPod?????? SHOCK.... (in my ears...weird and very uncomforatble).

And this is no 'oops... sorry, I shocked you' kind of shock. It is a 'mother fucker, that hurt' kind of shock. For instance: the sound. Let's just deconstruct this for a moment. When the person across the street hears some weird snapping noise and looks up from what they are doing to see me mouthing 'MOTHER FUCKER' or holding my throbbing finger..... I think there is a problem.

I am also slightly concerned about losing brain cells because seriously.... you can't tell me that having my earphones shock me at like 10 volts at the same time, when my brain is somewhere inbetween, can be helping them regenerate... no... it is just killing them.

I went out and bought new earphones (that cost more than $5....), hoping that maybe there was just a short circuit in the wires or something that was redirecting the voltage to my ears... but alas... no luck.
I might just have to accept the fact that I am a walking, talking ball of electrostatic energy.
Maybe I need to think about wearing some sort of energy grounding rubber apparatus.